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I'm really lazy and it makes me very sad.
12 years ago
General
I tend to procrastinate and avoid things all together. Its probably my worst trait, and I wish I had some way to deal with it. I used to fill my procrastination time with other things I wanted or needed to do, but now I don't even do that. I used to avoid assignments by drawing, and now, I will literally sit there doing absolutely nothing, and I feel really bad about it, but I don't stop.
I don't know what to do any more. I WANT to stop being lazy, but... it just happens. Maybe I'm too lazy to change. What really sucks is that I stress about the things I don't get done once I can't do them, but as soon as I have the ability to do them, it's suddenly not a priority any more. It's like an illness, and it makes me sick of myself.
Only just yesterday did I start looking for a part time job, when my mom has been begging me for a month to do it. And it wasn't because of her. It was because I made some new friends and I want to spend time with them, which is going to involve going to restaurants.
That's another thing. I eat too much. I hate it, and I'm aware of it while I'm eating. I'll literally be putting things on my plate, while thinking "You don't need that. That's way more than a serving, and you're going to gain more weight." I can't help myself though. I sometimes think I literally have no self control.
I don't know why I typed this up... Probably because I'm supposed to be doing my taxes, looking for a textbook, drawing the requests I accepted. I haven't touched a pencil in two weeks. I know, I suck for that, and I WANT to draw, but whenever I pick up a pencil and a piece of paper, the will suddenly leaves me, and I end up doing absolutely nothing.
I want to start exercising too. The rowdy people down the street moved away, so now there's nothing stopping me from taking a jog around the neighborhood... Why don't I? I actually ENJOY exercising. I feel really good when I exercise, and I actually lose weight, but I don't do it. I have no idea why...
I guess I'm hoping the internet people will help me, but I doubt I'll do anything any of you suggest. I'll flake out on that too, I just know it.
I don't know what to do any more. I WANT to stop being lazy, but... it just happens. Maybe I'm too lazy to change. What really sucks is that I stress about the things I don't get done once I can't do them, but as soon as I have the ability to do them, it's suddenly not a priority any more. It's like an illness, and it makes me sick of myself.
Only just yesterday did I start looking for a part time job, when my mom has been begging me for a month to do it. And it wasn't because of her. It was because I made some new friends and I want to spend time with them, which is going to involve going to restaurants.
That's another thing. I eat too much. I hate it, and I'm aware of it while I'm eating. I'll literally be putting things on my plate, while thinking "You don't need that. That's way more than a serving, and you're going to gain more weight." I can't help myself though. I sometimes think I literally have no self control.
I don't know why I typed this up... Probably because I'm supposed to be doing my taxes, looking for a textbook, drawing the requests I accepted. I haven't touched a pencil in two weeks. I know, I suck for that, and I WANT to draw, but whenever I pick up a pencil and a piece of paper, the will suddenly leaves me, and I end up doing absolutely nothing.
I want to start exercising too. The rowdy people down the street moved away, so now there's nothing stopping me from taking a jog around the neighborhood... Why don't I? I actually ENJOY exercising. I feel really good when I exercise, and I actually lose weight, but I don't do it. I have no idea why...
I guess I'm hoping the internet people will help me, but I doubt I'll do anything any of you suggest. I'll flake out on that too, I just know it.
