I'm kinda in the same boat as you. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten around it yet, so I have no advice to offer.

I appreciate you reading the journal. If I come up with any good solutions I'll probably update this. I think this is just something I have to force myself to get over though.

all the advice i can offer is say hello. you dont need to write a book in your introduction, just start a casual converstaion, what would you do in real life? "hey!" "hi." "whats up?" ect... so, just work on it some and yull be great ^^

Problem is that I have no real comparisons I can make to a real life situation. I'm just as reluctant to start a conversation in reality as I am online. Even more so, actually.

I suppose just saying "Hello." works in an IM setting, but what if I'm introducing myself via a note or email? I'd think those would need to be more formal in some way. Otherwise, it'd just seem odd that someone they've never heard of is sending them a note.

This is true. thats where you try to condence a short reason for you contacting them. a small paragraph, just a few sentences stating why you messaged. thats what i'd try to do. dont have ot be fancy, not all people are mean and rude.

That's where it falls apart for me. What would be my reason? That I want to meet them? I'm sure a lot of other people want to do that, and are in a similar position as I am.
Though along those lines, I suppose the mere fact I'd go out and say that would put me ahead of the rest of them.

that, that right there. showing intiative.

"hey! sorry for the random poke but i've seen your work and would love to talk. you seem like a cool [guy/gal]." could be as simple as that.

Mmm... I've never thought about it that way. I think that would work. Gives them room to politely decline if they're busy as well.

indeed. just keep that in mind ^^

Yeah, being like that isn't fun. I can relate a lot since I always get scared trying to ask someone to be friends as well or just asking stuff and talking in general in a situation like that. I can't really give you advice, though I can be emotional support I guess. Having a sensitive and shy heart is hard sometimes

I suspect my feelings aren't really a rare occurance, and it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has these sort of troubles. I appreciate the emotional support as well, it's nice to have in situations like this. Heh, I don't know you at all and I'm tempted to send off a contact request because you showed interest in how I was, Perhaps I should consider things like that.

I always try to help people that have trouble or are down. Even if I have no advice it is still good to do something, spreading kindness eases my heart I guess you could say. You can add me if you wish I don't mind, the more people to become close to, the better.

Being nice and helping other people feel better always makes me feel good. I think that's the main appeal to it. Otherwise we'd never have developed manners or the like. And I sent a contact request your way, whenever you get the chance to accept it.

Thanks, I'll probably accept tomorrow, tired and stuff. Take care until then!

I can tell you I have the same problem, but mine is born from Xenophobia. (the fear of outsiders)

I've stabbed in the back too many times to trust people like I used to, but this is not about me. It's about you. What I found to work when meeting new people is to watch what they do and listen to what they say. Do not stalk them be any means, but find something in common and use it as an advantage over the fear and make new friends.

It is rare that someone will approach you for seeing something in common, but really get to know them for they may be some good friends. But beware if they hang out with you just because you have something like the coolest ride on the street (like myself) because they are just trying to use you.

Sorry to hear that, I know another friend who has about the same stance on meeting new folks that you do. Someone taking advantage of my kindness is always a risk on meeting new folks, and it's often hard to pick the ones who're true friends out from those who just want something from you.
I don't have so much of a problem when someone wants to meet me, beyond the initial uncertainty of their motives. It's more on my first message to them that I'm so reluctant.

Rake, I'm the kind of asshole that says no to a person because I don't think they'd be interesting, and I lack the social stamina to maintain a large group of friends. And I have fits whenever you don't hang around me. I'm a picky person, Rake, and while I can't say for sure just what it is I like about you, I CAN say not many people have it.

I appreciate the vote of confidence, Daean, and I'm sorry that I don't message you much.
Though you do mention something else that makes me think. Everyone has their limits as to how many people they can juggle at one time, and I'll be the first to admit that I've hit and passed that limit. Thus I tend to be a bit picky about who else I want to introduce myself to. Saying that, it makes me feel a bit selfish.

Don't be. Not pleasing everyone is part of being a human surrounded by humans. (weird thing to say on a furry site)

Mmm, perhaps. We all have a little human inside us, and in the case of vore, sometimes literally.
But yeah, you can't make everyone happy, because even if you do, you'll be so worn out by that point that you yourself won't be.

Agreed. Thus, accept that at some point you're just gonna have to be an asshole, and move on!

At some point, yes, but I see no reason that I should have to be one from the getgo. Just that I need to be capable of being one when necessary.

But that's just it. You need to decide when you're at peak capacity, and then you must turn everyone else away. Unless you honestly feel you want to get to know this person and their story together, it just won't work.

Hey I saw your post, and i just wanted to say that I don't think you're alone. I have trouble meeting new people too, not because I'm shy, but because....well I don't really know lol. Well let me put it this way: If I went to a friends house and they had someone over there who I didn't know, I would have no problem speaking with them. But, I won't go up, when I'm by myself, to a stranger and try to make conversation, or talk with someone standing in line with me at caribou coffee...and I think this is the reason why I never had a date before xD.

But I think all I really need is a little courage. I always convince myself that "Oh I'm too stressed today with way to much homework/errands to do". But in reality, i really don't lol. In order for me to meet people, i literally have to force myself to do it, and I remind myself that I can always find a million reasons not to do somthing, and that I just need to make myself do it.

Since i've been on campus, i've really started to branch myself out step by step, and slowly I'm building my confidence in myself. I would never do this, but see, I really need to find that special someone for me. Someone who wouldn't mind watching movies with me so I could enjoy it with more than just myself; someone who I can walk around the park with and talk about our days; someone who I can tell anything to and I could be certain that they wouldn't think any less of me no matter what I said; a person who would genuinely care about what i had to say. I've never had that, and I always thought that if I just focused on work and school, I could get by without it...but as time goes on, that need to find someone, be it a best friend or a date, just gets stronger, and even starts making me depressed every time I went to bed, for I would look back and think I just wasted another day of my life.

So my biggest challenge in life right now is to build my courage to meet new people, and to not worry about what I may find. Sure I might meet some mean people, but if I don't try, then I definately won't meet any cool people, or meet that special someone. And, if all my attempts fail for the day, I can at least go to bed knowing that I gave it my best shot that day, and then I can wake up the next day to the hope that today will be the day where I meet someone really cool :).

But yea I'm sorry I rambled here in your journal, and I hope I didn't intrude or anything. I just happened to run across your post here and thought about saying something lol.

I hope what I said maybe helped a little (It helped me a little writing it), and I hope you meet lots of cool new people in your future =3

You're not intruding at all, what you wrote about is exactly what this journal is about. I think there's two situations in which you can meet someone. Forced, and not forced. A forced situation is one in which you're not the one "initiating" contact while not forced is the opposite. As in your example above, with a new person at a friends house, you're not necessarily "initiating" contact. You see him at your friends house, so you know that he's a friend's friend, and he sees you and knows something about you from your being here.

A not forced meeting is a different matter entirely. Chances are, the person you're looking at has never heard a single thing about you. Sometimes, it's the same for you as well, but oftentimes, especially in my case I know more about them than they do about me. It's that sort of thing that gives doubt in your mind. But you can't very well make yourself ignorant of them before you say hello.

A friend above suggested something to me that might work. Stop any thinking and just say hello. It's like you said as well, if it doesn't turn out well, at least you tried.

A forced situation is one in which you're the one "initiating" contact while not forced is the opposite.* is what I meant to put there.

Hey there. :3 I stumbled here from VH. I just wanted to second, third, and fourth the opinion that you should just stop thinking about it and just say hello to folks. n.n Now granted, it's easier said than done, but it gets easier to do once you get into the habit of doing it.

I imagine that would be the case. Thank you for your input on the matter! It's something I'm working on still.