posting vent journals. no one reads these. and the people who do probably think i'm immature. and i am. i deal with these problems in the only way i know how, and that;s the wrong way. i'm a kid. i've never had to deal with these problems before. so i do what come to mind. i shouldnt though. i should keep it to myself.

and most of all i should stop posting these where she can see them.

it's passive agressive. and cruel. i dont want hr to suffer. i keep thinking that maybe my reason for posting these where she can see them, was to convince her that she was hurting me and that she should come back. and maybe it is. but that's immature. she had a darn good reason for leaving. it was all my fault. and posting these in a place like this, it will only do 2 things

make her mad at me.

and make her mad at herself.

i do not want either of those things. she is not comeing back.

and it all my fault. as such this is my last vent journal about this subject.

i realise that this looks like a last attempt to convince her that she should be my freind again.

it is.
i wont lie.
i'm done lieing.

i hope she sees this and decides to come back.
so maybe i'm a terrible person.
maybe.

maybe i'm just a confused little boy who lost his best friend.
i leave that up to you.

~Riley