So after what was a hard day as I had recieved some mixed and life changing news but the bad scale was sonething I had hoped to avoid I found a blank CD in my computer bits and being me and thought my day couldnt get worse I popped it in.

Big mistake.. It was a disk I had burnt of all the messages,logs,chats, etc etc of my ex husbands affair. Stupidly I read through all of it, looking at the dates the first being 2nd sept 2011. 2 days after my dad died.

So yeah I reallyed screwed myself over but that wasnt the end of my "great "ideas after the harshness of the affair ( and seeing his mistress messages to him
about how awful I was ) understandably I was a wee bit upset. I therefore decided Ill tidy my bedroom... Nope again big mistake as I was unpacking my stuff frommy huntingdon move I found old love notes, art and a valetines day card.

Feeling that I was getting nowhere or having any luck i boxed all that away tearfully and found my wee batbook on the side. Seeing the wee romantic messages in that did it for me and I decided to retire to sleep but rather than sleep in my bedroom I didnt want to be on my own so I slept on the sofa in front room. Lil Z seemingly knew I was upset didnt make a sound all night and even offered himself for chinrubs and a quick cuddle.

Today Im just hoping for a better day.