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Bonzai. I love you. I always will.
12 years ago
General
Bonzai, my dog, died today.
I found him a few hours ago. I have an idea of what happened. He wasn't that old, and it looked like trauma was involved.... but... i really cant talk about that right now. There is something i need to talk about though...
I still dont know how to deal with it. I dont believe in souls. I dont believe in doggy heaven, so please dont tell me any of that stuff. It wont help me.
I don't want condolences right now. I always hated giving them because they felt wrong, never sounded right, and so far i've hated recieving them... I know everyone has lost pets, family members. I know everyone can empathize with me.
I want you, I NEED you, to love something right now.
Go hug your pets if you have them. Pet them, kiss them, everything. Do it right now. If you dont, go hug someone you love
When you're done doing that, however long it takes, write a journal or something, and tell other people to do it. I am serious about this. Do it.
They mean so much to us. Bonzai meant so much to me.
He was a small, furry dog, and most people wouldnt think much of this.
But he made me happy. He made people who played with him happy.
Every little bit counts. Every moment he was with me was one moment i wasn't alone. I cant remmeber any specific times, but he probably saved my sanity and, in turn, my life, in most cases.
I know there will be times when you look at your pets and dont think much of them, even if you love them. You might even think they dont effect you.
But right now, i want you to go to them, and pet them, and give them a reat, and even though they dont understand you, tell them you love them. Tell them you love them every day you can, and if you miss a day, make up for it.
Even then, that wont be enough. You can never convey how much you love someone or something. I told him that I loved him and it still doesn't feel like enough.
Ill be dealing with this over the next few weeks, months, years, I don't know. I'll feel better someday. I've lost a dog before, so I know it gets better, the pain.
Go love someone. Every little ounce counts.
Bonzai loved me as much as a dog can love, and I still love him. I will always love him.
He was smart, he was grumpy, he had selective hearing, he loved to play fetch, he was active, he loved squeaky toys, he hated most of the food we bought. He got out a little too often.
Bonzai is gone. Like I said, i don't believe in souls.
But that in no way lessens the impact he had on me and will continue to have.
I love him. I love him so much. And because of him, I love every pet out there.
I found him a few hours ago. I have an idea of what happened. He wasn't that old, and it looked like trauma was involved.... but... i really cant talk about that right now. There is something i need to talk about though...
I still dont know how to deal with it. I dont believe in souls. I dont believe in doggy heaven, so please dont tell me any of that stuff. It wont help me.
I don't want condolences right now. I always hated giving them because they felt wrong, never sounded right, and so far i've hated recieving them... I know everyone has lost pets, family members. I know everyone can empathize with me.
I want you, I NEED you, to love something right now.
Go hug your pets if you have them. Pet them, kiss them, everything. Do it right now. If you dont, go hug someone you love
When you're done doing that, however long it takes, write a journal or something, and tell other people to do it. I am serious about this. Do it.
They mean so much to us. Bonzai meant so much to me.
He was a small, furry dog, and most people wouldnt think much of this.
But he made me happy. He made people who played with him happy.
Every little bit counts. Every moment he was with me was one moment i wasn't alone. I cant remmeber any specific times, but he probably saved my sanity and, in turn, my life, in most cases.
I know there will be times when you look at your pets and dont think much of them, even if you love them. You might even think they dont effect you.
But right now, i want you to go to them, and pet them, and give them a reat, and even though they dont understand you, tell them you love them. Tell them you love them every day you can, and if you miss a day, make up for it.
Even then, that wont be enough. You can never convey how much you love someone or something. I told him that I loved him and it still doesn't feel like enough.
Ill be dealing with this over the next few weeks, months, years, I don't know. I'll feel better someday. I've lost a dog before, so I know it gets better, the pain.
Go love someone. Every little ounce counts.
Bonzai loved me as much as a dog can love, and I still love him. I will always love him.
He was smart, he was grumpy, he had selective hearing, he loved to play fetch, he was active, he loved squeaky toys, he hated most of the food we bought. He got out a little too often.
Bonzai is gone. Like I said, i don't believe in souls.
But that in no way lessens the impact he had on me and will continue to have.
I love him. I love him so much. And because of him, I love every pet out there.
But is it not the height of hubris to lament the loss in which we know comes for all of us?
No, do not weep and tear at your hair, or lose yourself in the throes of agony...
But instead, cherish the memories, experiences, and life that was held close.
For only then, in testament to the true ways of old, can we move forward, content in the knowledge that they support us even beyond death.
For only when we stop holding them in fond memory, do they ever truly die.
You don'y want condolences, so I'll merely say that I can indeed empathize with you. However you end up dealing with this, please, take care and take your time. I've lost pets before, but it never gets easier to handle.