Diagnosis was a massive ruptured L sided ovarian cyst, so explains tge pain and sickness.

Nurse pulled curtain round and asked if everything was ok as I didnt look very good and I just broke down sbout everything, all that gone wrong, how crap im feeling about not riding anymore. I just completly broke down and sobbed my heart out.

She got concerned that I was going to walk home on my own feeling so low and in pain, a american man visiting another patient offered to take me home. He said him and his wife overheard me with nurse and felt it wasnt right to make my own way home being so vunerable. He was v nice and got me home safe and sound.

I unpacked my hosp stay bag, fed the snake cuddled my chinchilla and had a mini bath. Then I saw Zuki's T shirt on my bed, it still smells of him and I been sobbing into it for past hour. I have never felt so alone, sick, in such pain or scared.

The only thing I have of him is a tear stained old t shirt, im so pathetic I really am >.<