I need to get this off my chest. Now.

As all of you may already know, I have non-sexual attractions to certain fetish-art. In other words, I kinda like that kind of stuff even if I am not a fetishist and don't get any sexual pleasure from it. Examples are Vore and TF. (Imagine it like this: I enjoy Bloody horror movies and gore in art, but I don't have a gore-fetish.) But I still have serious inner conflicts about that kind of artwork on here.

I mean, well, uh, I enjoy looking at that stuff, or reading stories about it, don't get me wrong... It's just that it makes me kinda uncomfortable to comment on that stuff, fave it, draw it or write it myself, watching people who submit that stuff or looking up refferences to learn how to draw this stuff. It's like a freaking curse. DX

I still behave on this website just like I do on dA. And that's the problem. deviantArt is so much different to Furaffinity. There's kinda much drama over there, people get shit for drawing fetish art etc. I mean, kinda I understand why... It's a big community with dozens of different people with different tastes and isn't even INTENDED for fetish stuff. But people even get their jimmies rustled over normal anthro art, over there. I was so scared to start drawing anthros, only a year ago. Now, I do it, everyday. You know, I really care what people think of me. I am a really empathic person and really polite. I want don't want others to think i am "weird" for liking weird stuff in an even more weird way...

Furaffinity is so much smaller and even has fetish-sections. People are so much more open, over here! That's awesome! So I can comment on that stuff and draw thus kind of stuff on here, right?... Well, uh...It's just that I've not been able to open up, yet. I really want to, but it's still hard for me. I still have this unnecessary "What will others think of me?"-problem in my head and it even mixes with another thing, the "WTF should I say?"-problem. I mean, I am a non-fetishist in a flock of fetishists on most fetish art that I view. I really don't quite know what to say, when these two problems in my head mix. I am a non-fetishist and I want others to know this, but every single fetishist has already written what I can say so what should I write to stick out as a non-fetishist??? Only give feedback on the coloring and anatomy??? Well that's dumb and boring D:! I know, I shouldn't try to stick out, others find out that i am a non-fetishist as soon as they visit my page, but still, It's hard to unlearn this behavior... I want to open up and embrace this things on this website but... I might need some help or some time.

I think I still wanted to say some more things but... this journal is long enough already, right?

Well TL/DR: I am a huge dumbass who needs to open up on this website already and shouldn't bother so much about what others think of me and my interresrs and might need help to finally open up.