So AC came and went. I'm not entirely sure what to think about it. It was a better time than the previous time I went, but that made it a lot more expensive too. In the end, same result though. I talked to a few people, but never for more than a couple of minutes. Most of my time was spent either at panels or shows, or wandering around aimlessly. I just.. don't know what to do, I guess. It seems so awkward to approach a random group of people and just start talking with them. It's depressing watching all sorts of people around you having a great time, longing for that, but never knowing how to get there. And it's really only starting the conversation that's the problem. Once I get comfortable and start talking, I'm totally fine. I just rarely get to that point.

All in all, I guess I've decided that I won't go to any con unless I'm rooming with at least one person I know, and there's at least one person there that I can reasonably expect would want to spend time with me. I keep going in the hopes that I'll meet new people, but it doesn't happen.

Unfortunately, even after being in the fandom some 15-16 years or so, I don't really have many people I can call friends. Too shy.. Too forgettable.. I don't know what it is. So I guess that just means I won't end up at another con any time soon.

Both times I've been to AC there's been one person that I /do/ know ahead of time. And both times they really didn't have any interest in being around me, too busy having fun elsewhere.

But, like I said.. it was at least a little better this time around. I obviously had no issues with roommates, but rooming alone is NOT something I'll do again. Too expensive. I enjoyed the shows. Spent more time in the dealer area. Brought a sketchbook and actually paid someone for a drawing of both of my characters (only he never contacted me about finishing it, didn't return my sketchbook, and still has my money. x.x) I got to talk to 2 briefly. I went to at least check the dance out all three nights and, since I'm a fan of Renard's music, actually ended up in the crowd with everyone else for that show (it took a bit too much anti-anxiety medicine to get that to happen). Oh, and I volunteered some.

Volunteering was stressful. I understand that AC is big and large events are hard to manage. But I was constantly being sent to places that didn't need help, being told that there's no work needed, etc. I got sent to help out with water and such in the area where fursuiters were getting ready for the parade thing, and security wouldn't let me in and told me to wait. After an hour of confusion I just left.

In the end, I still volunteered enough to get free admission next year. Too bad that means nothing, since I'm not going to go just to be alone. x.x

Part of me wonders if fursuiting would end up being fun. Anonymity can be a good thing. But that's expensive. And I'd need to find someone who could do bat wings well. I've seen a few pictures, and most of the time the wings make me cringe.