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sometimes i really hate my family
15 years ago
General
*sighs* for years my so-called RL "family" been talkin so much fucking shit behind my back they all said i would never succeed...they all said i was retarded or slow in the head and other shit....but all i have to say is...FUCK THEM...
if they believe i CAN'T succeed then,fuck them all....my mom side of the family are a bunch of disgraceful dsgusting judgemntal fucks....i can't stand scum people which is why i despises them so much they never believe i could make it.....they all kiss my stupid older sister's ass so much...that bitch has her own buisness and she's a social worker to people who has mental problems and all but all of my so called "family" kisses her ass even when they know she abuses her the people she is licensed to help and she abuses her power and treat the rest of us like shit...she have the nerve to think she can talk to whoever the fuck she wants to...one night i almost killed her....i swear if she haven't left in time...oooohhh i would've..... .......i'm sick of it.......
i'm sorry for posting this everywhere but this is now really heavy on my mind right now,so i needed to let out some emotions,if not,it would be in music....
some day, i want to be on MTV awards and call out every member of my useless so-called family by first and last name and tell them all to suck my mother fucking dick and tell them to go fucking kill themselves in which,i kind of wish they do.....
i wanna give the MTV camras my middle finger as a message to my bastard "family" and i would love to hear them cry and try to kiss my ass after they see me on tv and TRY to lie to my face and say they always "believed" in me..HAHA BULLSHIT....i know the mother fucking truth...
no one ever believes i can make it in the world they never think i'll be on tv or in the movies someday and have a multi-million dollar company...but you know what? FUCK THAT... that doesn't put me down it pisses me off so much that it inspires me to work harder that's why i go to college,that's why i'm on a football team,that's why i make music and get a million of positive feedback of people who says my music and kudos to the people i work on music with including some here on FA (you know who you are) and when it comes to school i may not want to do it and i god damn sure would rather be doing something else with my time instead of studying but i KNOW i have to not only prove to my worthless family who always never believe i have a gift and that i'm a gift to the universe but that i also would have a great future that's why i work hard and put my heart into everything i do....that's why everything i do is always the best and greatest thing in the world and why some day i will be the greatest in the world....
AND I DAMN SURE WON'T BE A ONE HIT WONDER SO GET USE TO MY FUCKING NAME
TO ANYONE GOING THROUGH THE SAME BULLSHIT...DON'T EVER LET THESE JEALOUS HATING ASS MOTHER FUCKERS PUT YOU DOWN USE THAT ANGER AND USE IT IN YOUR TALENTS THE ANGER I HAVE I USE IT IN EVERYTHING I DO EITHER SMASHING GUYS ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD OR RECORDING MUSIC OR ACTING I DO IT ALL AND ALL THE HATERS JUST MAKE ME WORK HARDER TO MAKE THEM SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WATCH THEIR JAWS DROP.....
and if i brag sometimes when talking to any of you...nevermind that...i do that sometimes cause of...well,you read the journal...
in fact,i should write a rock or country song about this....i already came up with a few lyrics for it...
if they believe i CAN'T succeed then,fuck them all....my mom side of the family are a bunch of disgraceful dsgusting judgemntal fucks....i can't stand scum people which is why i despises them so much they never believe i could make it.....they all kiss my stupid older sister's ass so much...that bitch has her own buisness and she's a social worker to people who has mental problems and all but all of my so called "family" kisses her ass even when they know she abuses her the people she is licensed to help and she abuses her power and treat the rest of us like shit...she have the nerve to think she can talk to whoever the fuck she wants to...one night i almost killed her....i swear if she haven't left in time...oooohhh i would've..... .......i'm sick of it.......
i'm sorry for posting this everywhere but this is now really heavy on my mind right now,so i needed to let out some emotions,if not,it would be in music....
some day, i want to be on MTV awards and call out every member of my useless so-called family by first and last name and tell them all to suck my mother fucking dick and tell them to go fucking kill themselves in which,i kind of wish they do.....
i wanna give the MTV camras my middle finger as a message to my bastard "family" and i would love to hear them cry and try to kiss my ass after they see me on tv and TRY to lie to my face and say they always "believed" in me..HAHA BULLSHIT....i know the mother fucking truth...
no one ever believes i can make it in the world they never think i'll be on tv or in the movies someday and have a multi-million dollar company...but you know what? FUCK THAT... that doesn't put me down it pisses me off so much that it inspires me to work harder that's why i go to college,that's why i'm on a football team,that's why i make music and get a million of positive feedback of people who says my music and kudos to the people i work on music with including some here on FA (you know who you are) and when it comes to school i may not want to do it and i god damn sure would rather be doing something else with my time instead of studying but i KNOW i have to not only prove to my worthless family who always never believe i have a gift and that i'm a gift to the universe but that i also would have a great future that's why i work hard and put my heart into everything i do....that's why everything i do is always the best and greatest thing in the world and why some day i will be the greatest in the world....
AND I DAMN SURE WON'T BE A ONE HIT WONDER SO GET USE TO MY FUCKING NAME
TO ANYONE GOING THROUGH THE SAME BULLSHIT...DON'T EVER LET THESE JEALOUS HATING ASS MOTHER FUCKERS PUT YOU DOWN USE THAT ANGER AND USE IT IN YOUR TALENTS THE ANGER I HAVE I USE IT IN EVERYTHING I DO EITHER SMASHING GUYS ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD OR RECORDING MUSIC OR ACTING I DO IT ALL AND ALL THE HATERS JUST MAKE ME WORK HARDER TO MAKE THEM SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WATCH THEIR JAWS DROP.....
and if i brag sometimes when talking to any of you...nevermind that...i do that sometimes cause of...well,you read the journal...
in fact,i should write a rock or country song about this....i already came up with a few lyrics for it...
You have shown remarkable resilience to keep to the things that you love the most, and I promise you it will carry you very far in this life.
http://www.disneydreaming.com/wp-co...../Shontelle.jpg
She and my sisters are best friends, go way back from high school, and whenever she comes back to Barbados, we always hang out.
She could introduce me to the right people.
I have pictures to prove it.
Believe it or not, in the last play I did where I played this demented, psychopathic, over-the-top serial killer... I actually scared people during rehearsals!
And when I auditioned for a local film which had some Californian students assisting, one of them was blown away by my performance.
The funny thing about it all is that sometimes it feels like I'm not even trying!
That's sucks they don't wanna believe you want to be some kinds of celebrity... But like me, my parents wouldn't let me go out by myself until they think I'm ready for it. (I only walk to school in mornings sometimes...) But I don't have any problem. I also want to get a job, but I'm working on it by attending it in class.
Don't get me wrong, I feel really sorry for yourself...*Hugs*
Hmm.. you did tell me about most of this some time ago if i recall correctly. I understood your dislike for it back then and I still understand it. but I think i told you about the path of anger being the wrong one, didn't I? I think i revealed to you how it almost devoured me long ago until I got it in check. You do know what I endured and also about the strategy I recommended to you.
I can see parts of it in this journal - not giving a damn for your family for example.. Yet the barely controlled anger threatens to twist the strategy and might turn it against you at some point. Be careful, little one...
Never forget about the lesson I told you several months ago.
You are a bear. A being of pride and strength. There is but one who is to determine your path in life and that is you alone. Everyone else may only grant you counsel but is not to presume to judge you for what you are or what you think. Do not bend your will just to be liked better by others - nor shall you let their ignorance affect you. Whatever others may throw at you - shrug it off just like a bear shrugs off droplets of rain. Be honest to yourself first and foremost. And be honest to others - uncaring for the results.
Truth is a blade. it may and will inevitably hurt at some point whereas lies are poison. Lies go unnoticed at first but when they are revealed, their effects are devastating and way worse than truth could ever be.