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The decision
4 years ago
General
Going to keep this relatively short as I really don't have much to say. In fact let's get to the point; Enough of you have come out and told me one way or another that deleting my account was stupid. Be it friends suggesting I try something else/taking a haitus or otherwise. As such I no longer intend to delete this account or the works on it.
But that said I am still leaving on something that will either be a hiatus or permanent depending on what happenes. Truth is there is something else that is kinda influencing me here, that being my depression. I'm manic depressive, and honestly last two weeks I've been experiencing the worst case of depression I think I ever had. Which, admittedly, I think may have influenced my behavior last few days especially when I first announced the idea of deleting this account. That being said this does not excuse the fact that I've been something of a overdramatic batch last few days, and quite frankly ya'll have the right to rag on me all you want as I need to be better.
Look, I'm gonna be honest with everyone who even bothered to read this: I'm tired. I don't want to feel this way anymore, and... well the way things are going if I can't find a way to cope or improve things I don't think I really wanna live anymore. And that is not a joke or anything of the sort, I genuinely need some fucking help
So... yeah. For now this is it. This account will remain as it is, though other then maybe occasionally checking in with a friend whom I can only contact through this site I will not be active whatsoever. With luck, I will return in maybe a few months. Otherwise.... well if I'm not back in about a year or so and I don't say anything else on the matter by then, then it may be safe to assume I won't return.
Thank you to everybody who even bothered to say anything about this matter the last few days, even the one guy who's comment yesterday may have been a bit harsh when initially reading it (Even though honestly it was sorta the slap in the face I needed to realize my actions were totally self centered and not at all rational.) It... helped to hear the opinions of others on the matter even if I didn't fully agree with them.
But that said I am still leaving on something that will either be a hiatus or permanent depending on what happenes. Truth is there is something else that is kinda influencing me here, that being my depression. I'm manic depressive, and honestly last two weeks I've been experiencing the worst case of depression I think I ever had. Which, admittedly, I think may have influenced my behavior last few days especially when I first announced the idea of deleting this account. That being said this does not excuse the fact that I've been something of a overdramatic batch last few days, and quite frankly ya'll have the right to rag on me all you want as I need to be better.
Look, I'm gonna be honest with everyone who even bothered to read this: I'm tired. I don't want to feel this way anymore, and... well the way things are going if I can't find a way to cope or improve things I don't think I really wanna live anymore. And that is not a joke or anything of the sort, I genuinely need some fucking help
So... yeah. For now this is it. This account will remain as it is, though other then maybe occasionally checking in with a friend whom I can only contact through this site I will not be active whatsoever. With luck, I will return in maybe a few months. Otherwise.... well if I'm not back in about a year or so and I don't say anything else on the matter by then, then it may be safe to assume I won't return.
Thank you to everybody who even bothered to say anything about this matter the last few days, even the one guy who's comment yesterday may have been a bit harsh when initially reading it (Even though honestly it was sorta the slap in the face I needed to realize my actions were totally self centered and not at all rational.) It... helped to hear the opinions of others on the matter even if I didn't fully agree with them.
Well I was seeing a councilor all the way up until February of 2020. Then the world shit itself, everything locked down aaaaaand I haven't seen anybody since then. And I don't think any of my meds are for the depression, rather for my Gerd and other such issues.